Yvon Phantomhive
by Rubyclaw
Summary: When Ciel Phantomhive and his butler die in a carriage accident, a mysterious teenager by the name of Yvon appears with documentation proving himself to be Ciel's long-lost brother and claims the estate and the title of Earl Phantomhive as his inheritance. However, Yvon Phantomhive has a secret dirtier than the mansion has yet known...
1. The Earl's Secret

**Author's note: I've never read the manga, so let's not go there. Please, _please_ post a review! I need to know if it's worth continuing as well as of any improvements I need to make. But you will. Because only losers don't write reviews.**

"So within three months, your investment in our company will have tripled!" the guest across the table insisted. "Sounds good, doesn't it?" Yvon, the head of the table, half-smiled ironically. He was around seventeen, with medium-length, golden blonde hair and deep blue eyes.

"Fascinating," the lord replies snidely, "how you feel it is appropriate to come to me with investment opportunities only a few months after my brother has died."

"Ah... yes, well... you seemed to have moved on. You were married only two months after the event." Yvon looked to wife, a young lady named Louise, who sat quietly at the young lord's right side. She was young, only sixteen, and breathtakingly beautiful; her soft, shining emerald eyes looked out from a face most marvelously framed with copper-colored hair which swung freely past her shoulders. Just the sight of her made Yvon smile fondly.

"It is always best to see happiness in life's simple pleasures, even in the midst of tragedy," Yvon explained. "I believe that it is what my brother would have wanted."

"Nevertheless, about the proposal –"

"No."

"What?"

"I am too confident in my finances to waste them on a crack-pot proposal."

"What?!" The man seemed unable to contemplate rejection. "You're just..." he stuttered on, "you're just a coward!" Yvon ignored this, sipping his wine. "You're just a man with no balls!" There was a pop as Yvon's glass shattered in his newly clenched fist. His calm expression had twisted into extreme rage. His infuriated breathing could be heard from across the room.

"Oh dear," Louise spoke in her soft, high-pitched voice, "now you've done it."

"What? Done what?"

"Yvon takes his manhood very seriously. I'd be surprised if he let you leave this house without injury, if alive at all."

"That's it!" Yvon howled. "You've insulted my intelligence, my family, and now my pride. I challenge you to a duel!" There was a pause as the guest nodded, knowing he had no choice but to accept. "I'll show you how much of a man I am," Yvon muttered.

They had agreed to use swords, and moved to the dueling hall. They stood back to back, and made the starting call. One Pace. Yvon closed his eyes. Two paces. _I have to focus,_ he thought. Three paces. _The sword is an extension of myself._ Four paces. _I'll show this bastard who's boss_. Five. _Pay attention – listen to everything._ Yvon opened his eyes and smiled. This would be easy. Six. He could hear his opponent tremble – it was like he had never held a sword before. Seven. Yvon took a deep breath. Eight. _Here we go._ Nine. _I'm ready._ Ten. The two men whipped around to face each other, brandishing their weapons. Yvon was almost entirely offensive; his strokes and slashes almost too quick for his opponent to block. Yvon's confidence disturbed his opponent greatly. _This kid fights like the devil!_ the man thought. Yvon took a moment's pause to catch his breath, which his opponent took advantage of. Yvon jumped back to avoid a wide slash that would've sliced right across his chest; however, the maneuver was incomplete. The blow landed across Yvon's waist, and, while it cut no flesh, the blow tore completely through Yvon's pants and undergarments, which fell to the floor leaving Yvon completely naked from the waist down. Both combatants froze. The opponent stared openly at the exact opposite of what he had expected. Yvon looked down in shock.

"Y-you're... you're a _woman!"_ the man exclaimed, horrified.

"Well," Yvon replied quietly, "I was going to let you go with a stiff beating, but now I _have_ to kill you." Shaking off the remainder of his trousers, Yvon lunged forward. His opponent, totally off guard, didn't have time to parry before being impaled straight through his heart. "No one will know," Yvon whispered into his opponent's ear as the man fell, never to rise.

"Baldroy!" Yvon shouted. The blonde cook (who had been switched to the butler position, considering Tanaka's retirement and the fact that he couldn't cook worth a damn) rushed in and immediately shuddered at the sight of the dead body and his naked master. "Pants!" Yvon demanded. "Now!"

"Yes my lord!" Baldroy answered, running back out.

"Mey-Rin!" Yvon shouted. The maid rushed in moments later. "You're the maid, aren't you? Clean this up!"

"Yes my lord." Just then, Baldroy returned with a fresh pair of pants. Yvon re-dressed himself. As Mey-Rin began removing the body, Yvon strode back into the dining room where his wife was waiting.

"Oh no!" she squealed, seeing him. "Are you alright?" Confused, Yvon looked down at his shirt and realized that there was blood spattered all over it.

"Oh, this?" he answered. "This isn't mine." Her expression changed from concern to disappointed suspicion.

"What did you do?"

"I... I killed him."

"Yvon!"

"I had to! He _saw!"_ Louise sighed.

"Yvon... that's the second time since we've been married. Twice in three months!"

"I'm sorry, Louise. I don't know what happened the first time. He just started touching you and... everything went red."

"You beheaded him, Yvon."

"I realize that."

"Last time I ever try to help you with any of your cases."

"Good! A brutal murderer-rapist, the last thing I wanted was for you to get involved!"

"I just worry about you, Yvon."

"I know..." Yvon answered. The room fell silent. "I told you you shouldn't have married me," he muttered.

"Oh, not this again!" Louise whined.

"I told you. I'm just a liability. I'm nothing but trouble. You need to find a real man, with a legitimate job, and legitimate money. But did you listen? No."

"Yvon, I already told you! You're the only man I could ever love!"

"I should just leave you. It'd be for your own good. Except... well, this is my house. I'd have to kick you out, and that's not really the same, is it?"

"Yvon!" Louise cried, running to her husband and wrapping an arm around his waist. He gasped, and they looked at each other, blushing. Louise took her other hand and slowly ran it through her husbands hair, pulling him in for a kiss. It lasted a moment, and then broke up. Louise's hand dropped down to Yvon's chest, her eyes lowering to avoid his shocked gaze. "You know... I should look you over... you might be injured..."

"I... yeah," Yvon replied awkwardly. "You... that's dirty." Louise giggled and kissed him. The kiss released and they hugged tightly. Yvon spotted something moving in the shadow of a hallway. He pulled apart from his wife. "You head on upstairs," he told her, smiling calmly. "I'll be there in a moment."

"Don't be too long," Louise answered, skipping up the steps to the master bedroom. Yvon heard footsteps approaching from behind: two people, one shorter than the other given the difference in the frequency of their steps.

"Yvon Phantomhive," one voice rang out from behind him, clear and cold.

"Hello, brother," Yvon greeted, turning with a smirk on his face. "I didn't figure on you showing up here again."

"Oh, blast, I was hoping I could scare you a bit," Ciel answered with the same smirk as his brother. The demon Sebastian stood behind his master in the shadows, expressionless.

"Please. I knew what you were the moment I first saw you. The cold, emotionless eyes; the pitch black fingernails. I am familiar enough with your kind, demon."

"You're very observant," Ceil answered, impressed. "Most humans are too stupid to realize what we are."

"Most humans are too stupid to realize what they are: ants crawling on a rock in space; here one day and then gone, never to be remembered. But, inevitable oblivion aside, what are you doing here?"

"Excuse me, I believe that this is my house."

"Not really; as I recall, you left everything to me when you left to... go do whatever it is you demons do. Hunt souls, I guess."

"You see, that is why I came here: I require a bit of payment for that favor."

"No, you don't. We never actually made a contract. I simply asked nicely for the fortune, and the title, and the estate, and you just handed it over without a second thought. It's surprising I could be related to someone so _stupid." _Ciel glared and clenched his fists, but said nothing for a moment, trying to calm down.

"It's still not too late, _brother,"_ Ciel offered. "We can still have a contract. Anything you desire!"

"No, thank you. I already have everything a man could ever want: a noble title, a fortune, a loving wife. There's nothing more I desire."

"Not even to be a real man?" Ciel asked. Yvon paused. "I know your secret, _sister."_ Yvon, however, quickly regained his composure.

"Not necessary," He replied. "Louise loves me for the way I am. She'll never admit it, but I don't think she'd be attracted to me if I were, as you say, _a real man_."

"But you'll need an heir! Unless you want to abandon our family."

"You did. Besides, I've already planned for that: I'll hide Louise from the public for nine months, and adopt a child. When she reappears with a baby in her arms, everyone will assume she was pregnant with my child. If all else fails, and I have her permission, I could even have Baldroy impregnate her; he looks kind of like me. I'd rather not though; the thought of another man with her makes me sick." Ciel was at a loss for words. "I'm sorry not to offer you hospitality, but it's late, and I want to go shack with my wife." Yvon headed for the stairs. "Oh, and a word of advice: Try a little more practice on weaker souls before you go after the intelligent ones like mine." He swaggered up the stairs without so much as a backward glance.

"You know, Sebastian," Ciel remarked, amazed, "since becoming a demon, I've been able to smell fear."

"I don't smell anything," the butler replied.

"Precisely! Yvon _has no fear!_ The man walks around as if he's God! It sickens me to the core, and yet... it enthralls me. I can't look away."

"He is... interesting."

"Yes. I almost wish I would've met him when I was human. We might have gotten along quite well."

* * *

"What took you so long?" Louise asked, curious, as Yvon entered the room. She was lying on the bed, already down to her chemise and drawers.

"My... brother... decided to drop by," Yvon answered, beginning to undress himself.

"Ciel?! What did he want?!"

"He seemed to believe I owed him something for the estate. I handled it. However, I wouldn't be surprised to find him hanging around here for a while. He seemed quite interested in me."

"Well I'm not surprised," Louise enticed, getting on her hands and knees and crawling across the bed toward her husband. "You _are_ such a handsome man." She reached up and put a hand on his shoulder, kissing him. He pushed back against her, so that by the end of the kiss he was laying down on top of her.

"Don't worry about him," Yvon reassured. "Tonight is for us alone." His head bent forward and kissed her again.


	2. Maman, Don't Leave Me

The next afternoon, while Yvon was having tea in his study, Ciel appeared again, much to Yvon's annoyance.

"What do you want?" the older brother asked.

"I don't understand how you know to recognize a demon on sight. Or even where you came from. I'm having difficulty believing that my long-lost brother happened to fall out of the sky right as I was abandoning my estate."

"I do my research. And... you and your butler aren't the first demons I've met. I am your real brother. You see, before either of us were born there was a maid who worked here for your parents. She was young, but an accident left her barren; cruel of fate, really, as all she ever wanted was a child of her own. She was the midwife at my birth, and she fell in love with me on sight. She proclaimed me to be born dead, and stole me away to her home country of France, where we lived until she recently died of... illness. Officially. She told me the truth before she died; I had always thought... she was my mother..."

"A fantastical story," Ciel answered. "I don't believe a word of it."

"But you see, with a little help from the supernatural, even the fanatical is reasonable. Here's the truth: My moth... the woman who raised me, anyways, was desperate to have a child. So desperate she'd sell her soul – which is exactly what she did. She entered into a contract with a demon: He would help her steal a child of her choice, and allow her to raise the child into adulthood. She chose me. I never knew until... until she got sick, and he came for her.

"She had been bedridden for a week, and the doctors couldn't do anything for her. I was only ten. I remember standing by her side, in my light-pink dress (I had been a girl back then, you see) hearing her weeze as she struggled to breathe. She was beautiful, even then; even as the sickness aged her beyond her youthful years, and her skin paled with the anticipation of death. I held her hand, smiling through the tears. 'You'll be ok,' I told her, sounding more confident than I felt. 'I know it. You'll be better real soon!' She smiled at me, her eyes half closed. Just then, a man came into the room; I don't remember the door opening, I just looked up and he was standing there. He was tall and expressionless; his golden eyes stared out coldly from behind his spectacles under his straight black hair.

"'It's time, Alexis,' he told the woman in the bed simply.

"'It can't be,' Alexis insisted. 'She's not old enough yet!'

"'It looks to me as though Yvette has grown into a fine young woman,' the man replied, speaking of me. 'Besides, you will not live through the night. Nothing I can do will change that. I've already intercepted one reaper who was on his way here to double-check why your soul wasn't in the ledgers.'

"'_Maman,_ what's happening?' I asked her. The conversation confused me, and she was the only family I'd ever known. I feared what would become of me if she died like the man said.

"'Hush child,' she comforted me. 'It'll be alright. Don't be scared. I'm gonna go away now; but it's alright.'

"'But what'll I do?' I whined, tears streaking my face. She looked at me seriously, as if she would cry.

"'Yvette, I'm sorry...' she spoke to me softly. 'I lied to you. I told you I was your mother because... I wanted to believe it was true. I was jealous, because I couldn't have children, so I stole you away. Go... go to London. Find... your real parents. They'll take good care of you, I'm sure of it.' The man handed me a brown briefcase.

"'These are your documents,' he told me. 'They prove your birth.' I looked up at him, suddenly filled with anger.

"'No!' I screamed. 'I'm not letting you take her!'

"'Shh, Yvette; it's alright," Alexis assured me, shakily unbuttoning the loose blouse that covered her chest. 'I agreed to this long ago.' She stopped halfway down, before she became horribly indecent, and I saw a dark yellow pentagram marked across her breast bone. The man took off a glove – the same mark was tattooed on the back of his hand. His fingernails were black. He placed his hand over her chest so that the marks lined up.

"'You're running out of time,' he said. 'Say goodbye.' She looked up at me, and smiled through her tears.

"'Goodbye, _mon petit ange.'_ I saw the man's mark glow faintly in a burnt orange, and the light in my Alexis's eyes went out forever. The man smiled with greedy satisfaction; a smile that would make any child cry. He lifted his hand, replaced the glove, and turned to leave the room. I was frozen in horror.

"'What...' I squeaked at last, 'what are you?!'

"He looked at me with that same horrible smile: 'I, am a demon.' As he spoke, a huge, death-black spider crawled out from between his lips and perched on his cheek. I gasped, and he left the room without another word. I did the only thing left to do: I began my long journey to England.

"I never knew his name, but I swore to myself if I ever met him again, I'd make him pay for taking _Maman_ away from me."

"Golden eyes, and spectacles..." Ciel remarked, "that sounds like Claude Faustus. You don't have to worry about him anymore. Sebastian killed him."

"So you can die," Yvon replied with a smirk. "I'll keep that in mind."

"So when did you start calling yourself Yvon and dressing like a man?" Yvon inhaled sharply and clenched his fist, fighting down a memory he would give anything to forget.

"It's... it's easier to travel as a man. A lone girl is... an easy target. It wasn't very long before I figured out I liked being a man better." Yvon took a deep breath and looked at his brother crossly. "Don't you have anything better to do than to stand here asking personal questions?!" Ciel shrugged and left the room. Yvon sighed, emotionally worn, and halfheartedly sipped at his tea.


	3. London: The Great Cesspool

Weeks later, Yvon was sitting in his study with Louise on his lap, running his hands through her hair and kissing her gently. Her arm was creeping down his waist, when suddenly a knock came at the door. Yvon interrupted his wife and swore.

"What do you want?" the young lord snapped. Balroy opened the door and came in, carrying a silver tray.

"A letter from Her Majesty," Bard explained, handing the letter to his master.

"Goddamn it, I was going to take today off..." Yvon cursed, taking the letter, opening it, and scanning it quickly. "Sorry, baby, they need me in London."

"Aw," she whined cutely. "Can I come?"

"No! Look, I've–" He cut off, looking at her determined green eyes. "I'm not going to be able to stop you, am I?"

"Nope."

"Alright, fine. Baldroy, get a carriage ready!"

* * *

"So, who are we after?" Louise asked as the carriage began to pull into the city.

"We?" her husband answered skeptically. "There is no 'we.' You have to stay with Baldroy."

"Oh, but –"

"No buts! You said you wouldn't be helping me with any cases anymore! Besides, last time you 'helped' I ended up beheading someone and we both agree that wasn't appropriate!"

"Fine..."

"Anyway, it's a serial killer I'm after. Hardly any connection between the victims, but they were all killed in the exact same way. Scotland Yard is chasing its own tail, as usual, so I got called in to stop it." The carriage came to a stop, and Yvon saw Sir Arthur and a few police officers trying to keep the area clear. He stepped out of the carriage and took a deep breath. "Here we go," he muttered to himself. He looked up at his butler, who was driving the carriage. "Oh, and Baldroy, unless you want to be a eunuch, I suggest you keep my wife in your sight." He saluted sharply, frightened, and snapped the reins. The carriage drove away. Yvon faced back to the police commissioner, who had spotted him.

"The Earl Phantomhive," Sir Arthur greeted disdainfully.

"Sir Arthur," Yvon replied with equal distaste. "Let's not waste time. Show me the crime scene."

"That's not necessary. We have everything under control."

"Oh, _of course!_" Yvon shouted sarcastically, with a huge, agitated grin on his face. "Of course it is! That's exactly what this says." He held up the queen's letter and pretended to read, "'Scotland yard is perfectly capable of taking care of this themselves for once; there's no need to get involved.' That's why I dragged myself all the way out to this _glorious HELLHOLE_ out of season: because my presence is _totally unnecessary_ and I just like to get under your skin! But let's not kid ourselves here: I would _love_ to be at home right now in my study with my wife on my lap reading a book to her. But I'm not, am I? So why don't you just quit trying my patience and let me do my job so that _we can both get on with our lives?!"_

"Alright, alright, fine," Sir Arthur agreed. "Sometimes I don't know if you're better than your brother or worse," he muttered under his breath. Yvon ignored him and proceeded to the scene of the crime. The victim's body lay mangled in a large pool of blood. Yvon studied the victim and the scene carefully before making a conclusion:

"By the look of the corps, the murderer was a butcher. The stab wounds suggest that a boning knife was used, and the limbs are severed neatly at the joint – this was no amateur." Yvon leaned in close to the victim and took a deep sniff. He also sniffed some bloody footprints leading away from the scene. "I suspect the murderer also smelt horribly of garlic and blue cheese. Judging from the smell and the footprints, I'd say he went this way." Yvon rushed off following the trail, leaving a very bewildered Sir Arthur behind him.

* * *

While Yvon was following the trail, he heard a woman scream. He began to run. Suddenly, he saw a pair of people in the alleyway. A stocky man in a bloodied apron had a young woman backed up against the wall with a long knife.

"Hey!" Yvon shouted at him. The man, who could only have been the murderer, turned, saw Yvon racing toward him, and grabbed the victim hostage-style, with his blade across her throat. Yvon flung a small knife that struck the criminal's hand. He howled in pain and dropped both the knife and the girl. The woman staggered backwards and watched as Yvon pinned the man to the wall by his throat with an impossibly strong arm. He pulled the queen's letter out of his pocket with the other hand. "Now, let's see... was I supposed to kill you or just arrest you?" The man promptly began begging for his life. "Hm... it just says, 'he must be stopped.' So I suppose the question is... Are you feeling lucky?" The man fell silent, breathing heavily. Yvon drew his sword. "You must not be very lucky. Scotland Yard didn't follow me. They would've gone easy on you. I'll try to keep it clean for the lady's sake." With that, he plunged his sword into the man's chest, killing him. He let go of both his blade and the corpse, letting both fall to the ground as he turned his attention to the woman who was still watching him with eyes filled with adrenaline and fear. "Are you alright?" Yvon asked her. "Did he hurt you?" Hesitantly, she shook her head "no." Yvon heard the sound of people running and shouting behind him. "Oh, that'll be the yard then," Yvon told the woman. "I suppose I might've waited a minute or so for them. I'm just so bloody impatient." The young lord turned to the approaching officers and pulled his bleeding sword from the corpse.

* * *

After giving a long explanation to the Yard as to why the killing was necessary, Yvon caught up with his wife at a shop.

"Yvon!" she exclaimed when she saw him, running up and giving him a hug. "You took care of it then?"

"Yes I did."

"Did you kill anyone?"

"I... no," he denied. Louise gave him a suspecting look. "Yes..."

"Yvon!" Louise sighed.

"I had to! He was going to murder another young woman!"

"There's nothing to be done for you, is there?"

"I know a few things you could do," Yvon suggested mischievously, wrapping and arm low around his wife's hips and pulling her close to him with play roughness.

"Oh! Yvon!" she exclaimed, surprised. "That's dirty."

"C'mon. Let's go home." The couple walked out of the store, but Yvon stopped, realizing something. "Louise... where's Baldroy?"

"Oh, I got rid of him!"

"What?!"

"I know it's hard for you to accept, but I'm scarier than you, Yvon."

"Well... where'd he go? He's kind of our ride home."

"I'm sure he didn't go far; there's a few bars on this street we can look through. We'll find him quickly enough!" She smiled optimistically.

"I hope so. I'd like to leave this great cesspool as quickly as possible." The couple wandered down the street aimlessly, hoping the butler would turn up to meet them. Baldroy, who had been smoking a cigarette in a nearby alley, saw the couple pass, and realized they must have been looking for him. Hoping to get their attention, he rushed out from the alleyway and grabbed his master' wrist. Yvon shouted and violently wrenched his arm out of Bard's hand, and he began to hyperventilate.

"Don't..." he muttered, his voice a higher tone than usual. Louise could tell his control was slipping.

"Yvon, are you ok?" she asked him.

"Don't let him touch me," he repeated over and over between breaths, not acknowledging his wife. His unfocused blue eyes stared off into the distance in fear.

"Don't just stand there!" Louise snapped at Baldroy. "Get the carriage!" Bardroy nodded and rushed off. Louise turned lovingly to her husband. "Yvon, it's ok," she spoke gently. "It's just me. Louise. We're going to take you home now." Yvon didn't hear her. He was trapped in a memory.


End file.
